


Late Night Hobbies

by LanxBorealis



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, Offscreen Violence, One Shot, a friend gave me the idea where Black Hat watches heroes and villains fight on the news, also Black Hat yelling at the tv bc, idk how to tag this cant you tell, like its a sports game, or something, so this is all that is, vILLAINS ARENT HOW THEY USED TO BE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 03:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11888652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanxBorealis/pseuds/LanxBorealis
Summary: While scurrying back to his lab, Dr. Flug stumbles upon a hobby of Black Hat's he never knew the demon had.





	Late Night Hobbies

**Author's Note:**

> So one of my tumblr friends/mutuals (Flowers for freaks) gave me/inspired this idea where Black Hat watches the news reports of fights between villains and heroes and treats it basically like a sports game.  
> So I just. had to write that. Because all I can write for this show is stupid shit, apparently.  
> Also there's some of Black Hat acting like the old man he (probably) is because I found that funny too.

Dr. Flug rubbed his arms, glancing around cautiously as he made his way back to his lab. 

Sure, he had been living with Black Hat for, well,  _ quite  _ a while now, but poking around his mansion,  _ especially  _ at night, never failed to send shivers down Dr. Flug’s spine. 

Dr. Flug  _ swore  _ the eyes of his many portraits followed him wherever he walked and the patterns on the wallpaper reminded the scientist of snakes. 

Dr. Flug shivered at the thought. 

The fact that the lights always burned lowly, casting a dusty, hazy glow that spread long shadows didn’t help Dr. Flug with his nervousness in the bit either. 

As Dr. Flug crept down melodramatic flights of stairs after melodramatic flights of stairs, the sight of a shock of lime green hair stuffed in an equally green cap made him pause. 

Dr. Flug hesitated as he peered at Demencia from behind. He could keep walking, ignore her the best he could, and get back to his lab as fast as possible….

_ Or  _ he could go over and see why she had her body halfway hidden behind a wall as she poked her head into a room, wiggling her hips back and forth. 

Already regretting his decision, like he always seemed to do, Dr. Flug padded up behind her. “Demencia? What are you---?” 

Demencia shushed him. “Quiet!” she said in a voice much louder than Dr. Flug’s low whisper. “He’ll notice us!” 

Dr. Flug didn’t have to ask  _ who  _ as he peered around Demencia’s head and into the room himself. 

A lavish living room Dr. Flug didn’t know even existed greeted his goggles. The back of a crimson loveseat sat in the room atop a plush carpet. Shadows scurried away from the bright TV screen installed in the back wall. Even from afar, Dr. Flug could see what exactly Black Hat was watching, nevermind said demon’s hat being partially in the way. 

“He’s watching… the news?” Dr. Flug muttered, cocking his head to the side. Dr. Flug had to admit---the things shown on the news going on in the world were certainly  _ dastardly--- _ but he couldn’t come up with a single reason why Black Hat would be watching that so intently, that he didn’t even notice him and Demencia creeping up on him. 

Or, perhaps he did know, but just didn’t care. Dr. Flug could never tell with him. 

“He does this sometimes,” Demencia hissed, excitement coloring her tone. “It’s-- it’s  _ adorable.  _ Just watch.” 

Dr. Flug recoiled at that. Black Hat? Adorable? Those two words were oxymorons at the very  _ least.  _ Still, curiosity dug into him with sharp claws, and Dr. Flug couldn’t turn away. 

As the news about that night’s car crash drew to a close, another news anchor came on screen---this one a forgettable, yet beautiful lady with blonde hair and blue eyes.

The words  _ Breaking News!  _ appeared on the screen with her, and she barely waited a second before diving into the latest, hottest story of that night---a fight between a superhero and a known villain. 

She spoke fast, without a single hint of breath. Perhaps she, like Black Hat, was a demon too. 

It wouldn’t be a shock to Dr. Flug, if that was the case. 

“---And now, to Courtney, who’s at the scene.” 

The screen split to a frazzled brunette standing to the side of the street. In the background, on the left, Dr. Flug could clearly see a lamp post be ripped out of the ground by the hero, and swung toward the villain as a makeshift weapon. 

Dr. Flug shook his head. Heroes---always letting the citizens pay for their damage. 

“As you can see behind me---” Courtney begun, but Black Hat cut her off before Dr. Flug could understand what she said. 

“I  _ can’t  _ see what’s behind you, because you’re blocking the way! Idiot reporters! They  _ never  _ do a good job. Just switch to the aerial view already!” Black Hat spat with a scowl. 

The sound of crunching rang in Dr. Flug’s ears. 

Was Black Hat eating  _ popcorn?  _ Wait, no, scratch that. 

Black Hat  _ ate?  _

After several more seconds of Courtney stuttering as she struggled to describe the scene behind her, then running out of the frame right before the camera went down, the blonde reporter from before quickly directed the next camera to be from the aerial view of the fight. 

Black Hat growled. “Finally. Stupid---” he didn’t finish his mutters as he stuffed more popcorn into his face. 

Despite the darkness and the fact that the street was now missing a lamp post, Dr. Flug could still see what was going on onscreen. The villain---one of their own customers, no less, used a nifty pair of boots Dr. Flug invented himself to speed out of the hero’s way as she tried to crush him with the lamp post. 

“C’mon, just get closer already, pull out your freeze ray, and freeze her already!” Black Hat yelled at the screen. “It’s not that hard! Even when I was outta my prime, I could do that!” He shook his head, and stuffed his face with more popcorn. “These villains. Even  _ with  _ the best devices money could buy, they can’t even take over a  _ city  _ properly.” 

The hero released a battle cry as she tossed the street lamp away. It slammed into the side of a skyscraper, shattering thousands of windows. The lamp post landed on the ground with a heavy  _ thud  _ as well, crushing a stop sign. 

“When  _ I  _ took over my first city, there was more destruction than that! And it was caused by  _ me,  _ not the heroes! Take some  _ pride  _ in your work!” More crunching as Black Hat shoved popcorn into his mouth. 

Dr. Flug glanced at Demencia as the fight on the TV raged on with Black Hat’s  _ “helpful”  _ commentary. 

“How often does he do this?” he whispered to her. 

Demencia, too used to these sorts of newscasts, had her eyes on Black Hat, giggling madly with each sly comment he made. She didn’t even bother glancing down at Dr. Flug to answer his question. 

“Uh, I dunno. A couple times a week I guess? Though I think he sometimes records the news and will just binge watch these things at night.” 

Dr. Flug shook his head. “Wow. I-- I never knew.” 

“Well, if ya didn’t hide in your lab like some kinda mouse all the time, you probably would’ve known sooner.” 

Dr. Flug wished he had eyes so he could roll them. “Well, I work. Unlike  _ some  _ people in this house---” 

From his couch, Black Hat called, “if you two aren’t gonna be quiet, then get out of here before I  _ make  _ you!” 

“Well, that’s my signal to leave. See ya!” Demencia pulled back, then crawled up the wall, and disappeared. 

Dr. Flug gulped. 

Black Hat shifted his head slightly to the side, catching the light of the light carnage from the TV on his monocle. “Will you be joining me, Dr. Flug? Or just stand there like a lost kitten?” 

Dr. Flug gulped, and his need for self-preservation outweighed his damning curiosity. 

“G-- Goodnight, sir!” Dr. Flug babbled. Before Black Hat could respond, Dr. Flug pulled away, and ran down the hallway, returning to his lab. 

Black Hat chuckled, then leaned back further in his loveseat. Taking out another handful of bones from his bucket---not popcorn as Dr. Flug thought---he crunched down another mouthful as he watched the continuing fight. 

And when the villain, yet again, lost, but got away, Black Hat roared his disapproval.  

**Author's Note:**

> I probably treaded onto OOC territory here but you see I just ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Anyways! I hope this was more or less enjoyable!  
> Comments, kudos, and gentle concrit is always welcome <3  
> And if you have any other stupid slice-of-life Villainous ideas like this that you want me to write, feel free to leave said ideas down below as a comment OR just shoot me and ask on my tumblr (mercurialsmile) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
